Also, you probably noticed that thing about LM. Well, you guessed it. I'm finally an official member of the Loyola Mountaineers! It was a long and rough journey. It took me to places I thought I would not go both emotionally, mentally and physically. All those talks I had to attend. The tree-plantings and cave explorings. The training climbs and skills tests. All of them left their mark on me and all of them changed me into the person I am now. Or maybe they helped me learn something about myself.
I'm sorry if this post is a little vague, this past sem with the Loyola Mountaineers has been one of the most action packed semesters of my entire stay, if not THE most. I don't know if I'll ever be able to recount the entire process with its minute details complete with the small triumphs and defeats. Maybe in a future blog post, but now now.
Now, I want to talk about what comes next. I guess since this whole sem was devoted to getting into the org, the feeling that I need to make a decision hasn't sunken in. The decision for what comes after. After graduation. The decision ALL Health Sci students are faced with. To med or not to med?
It's a question that plagues us all in my course. We're always nervously looking at each other, asking each other if we want to put ourselves through the hell that is med school. The deprivation of the best years of our lives. The endless nights of studying.
Finishing the application process for the Loyola Mountaineers, left me almost, without a purpose. Just getting in was one of the toughest things I've had to do. With that out of the way... I felt like an Obama supporter after Obama won.
However, this feeling of not knowing what to do also comes with some revelations for myself. I think the many things, I've been put through helped me understand myself better. Some of those things are quite recent. During the induction climb preparations, I really wanted to be medic. Even though I didn't get the spot, I still wanted to help out with the medical related things. They consisted of mostly cramps and hurt knees but I still tried to help them out in whatever way that I could whether that meant, stretching out their muscles or asking others to help lighten that person's load. Another thing that happened, was how one of the members, a doctor, patched up my friend's bleeding finger wound and said that it wasn't actually a big deal. She said that after we were all like, "Is he gon' die?" Then she told us about how she's seen people without thumbs so this really wasn't a big deal. I thought that it was awesome how she took control of the situation and knew just what to do.
When I tell this to people, I tell them that I realize that it's shallow but at least now, I have some feelings to draw from. Maybe this is an unfolding of myself. But then again, it could just as easily be me deluding myself into taking a steady path.
I do think though that in the end, we're never going to know if we feel this way or if we're really just doing whatever so we feel safe. And in the end, we'll have to take a leap into the unknown with what little we have. Whether we like it or not, we'll have to take that leap of faith and trust in the future. In the end, all the advice, the constant reminders that you're following the crowd, the ever-present recommendations for future careers will boil down to your decision to take that plunge into the wide blue yonder.
I think I'm taking that leap of faith right now.
Here's to the future.
 |
| The Sea of Clouds at Mt. Pulag c/o Dako Bagano |
