Last year of College: Loyola Mountaineers and my Mom

Good Lord... How did I get here?

The fact that I am actually called a senior and yet everything still seems to run at the same pace is concerning. Often times, I find myself doing things and then stopping to remind myself that this would be the last chance I'd ever have at trying to do something like this...

Real life is just around the corner...

Fuuuuuck...

I'd be more energetic in my cries of despair if I weren't so tired from my last 6km practice run for LM. Something I have neglected to update you guys on for some time now.

Yeah. This year, I've set myself up to have a meaningful last year. Actually, this year seems to be all about my LM (Loyola Mountaineers) application. Yes. LM application. I've been trying to get into that org for 2 years now but I've always discontinued application or quit open climbs because of several reasons. The first was plain physical fitness. Joining LM means being super fit and takes a lot of time and effort to train. The first time I tried a 6km run was during the actual test itself on my second year. Before that I had never run so far in my life. By the time I finished, I was just concentrating all my efforts in trying not to shit my pants. That's why for this year's application I've invested a lot of time and energy for training and I like to think that I'm doing pretty good for myself.

Click this to see my last run!

The second reason was the steep requirements that LM has for membership. Aside from being physically fit and mentally prepared, I need to have a lot of weekends sacrificed for LM activities. This was problematic because of the NSTP and JEEP requirements for 2nd and 3rd year. Those were uncuttable which meant that LM had to be dropped.

The second and without a doubt the most fearsome opponent to my application is my own mother. Woohoo! Lord knows that she and I have gone through many and episode and joining LM was just one of many things we did not agree with. I remember just a month ago at dinner, I was talking to my sister Toni about how I was applying to Loyola Mountaineers. Then she asks me if I even asked permission from my mom first. Puzzled, I told her that I didn't need to ask permission because she let me join when I was second year. Then she tells me that I should have asked first. Then I repeat what I told her and explain to her that I really didn't need to ask permission. Looking for approval from my mom, I turned my head to find her giving me a look that probably went like, "You better get what I mean already or I will drive my thumbs into your eyes!!!". As charming and endearing as I am I still proceed and tell her that I'm going to join Loyola Mountaineers. Then she goes, "Why don't you like to listen to me?"

And then I'm like this.

And she asked me that without even saying anything... Mothers...

Anyways, I am so fuckin' determined, I'm gonna push through anyway. One way or another, I'm gonna get there baby and there's nothing that's gonna stop me!

I've already been training for weeks now and I've made the 6km within the specified time limits multiple times. I'm gonna hit even bigger challenges when I start figuring out ways to tell my mom that I'll be gone for some weekends to go to the mountains. Wish me luck!

For What It's Worth - Buffalo Springfield

The Greatest List of Freshie Advice (not really)

Okay. So just a while ago, Aimee showed me her write-up in progress for the coming ORSEM planner. Going through some of them, I could see the good ones and the really fucking stupid ones. Some of them were the usual open your world things like: "Try everything." While others like, "Ateneans are known for being conyo and maarte. Prove them wrong."

Yeah. That one I had a beef with. I mean, if you're gonna base your personality on what people want you totally didn't fucking get the point of college.

In my opinion, high school was the worst shit ever. The kids were dicks. Bullies were everywhere. You're less able to explore and you leave it thinking that you know exactly who you are when in fact you have a LOT of growing up left to do.

College is a whole 'nother jungle, baby.

So I decided to try my hand at making my own list of tips and tricks to survive the jungle known as college.

It's not complete and I'm not sure if you'll find it useful but whatever. Also, this list is designed for Ateneo freshies so whatever.

Here it is.

1. Try new clothing. This is for those freshies who, like me, always wear just pants and shirts. I've been wearing pants and shirts my whole life and have only just recently realized in my senior year that wearing shorts is so much more comfortable. I feel as though I've suffered the heat of Manila summers innecessantly. And oh boy, did I suffer.

2. Don't let people tell you what you should be. As a freshie, the peer pressure and pressures from your parents will be absolutely tremendous. During my first year, it took me to dark places and I ended up resenting so many people. Ultimately, you're gonna have to find a way for you to ignore these influences and figure our who you wanna be. Know when people are starting to control you and then put a stop to it when you can.

3. Don't think that college is about work. If anything it's quite the opposite. My Pol Sci prof once told our class that college is your last reprieve from the real world of enforced monotony and non-creativeness. You don't go to college to be good at a certain job. Everything you need to know for your future job, you'll learn on your first days there. You go to college because you need to expand your goddamn mind. You need to explore ideas that will make you question who you are and why you do these things. You'll appreciate the amazing world of fiction and poetry. Philosophy will make you think about what it means to truly love.

4. Make sure to use your offline password for EBSCOHOST. It's an online database of millions of journal articles, studies and books that will prove invaluable to research. Amazingly, some people reach senior year without ever once utilizing it. Also, if you find that an article you want is not readily available in full PDF form on the site, use the document delivery service form the lib and the staff will email you a copy.

5. This may sound stupid as shit but take pictures! You'll get through the 4 (or 5) years fast and you'll need those pics to take you through the tough times. They'll remind you of your friends and a more innocent age.

6. Exercise your management skills! Become a leader at something. There are two types of people in this world, the shepards and the sheep. The sheep follow the shepard around and are stupid as shit while the shepherd takes the sheep wherever he wants to go and sometimes gets to fuck them when nobody's looking.

7. In spite of what you may believe, people don't give a shit about you as much as you think.

8. Learn how to drive and park anywhere.

I'm gonna blast through the rest of these now.

9. Don't eat fatty food. JSEC serves the fattiest food in all of Ateneo. Do not get trapped in that cycle. Seriously JSEC food administration, get your shit together.

10. Read about science news.

11. Start to look for something you're passionate about.

12. Think about what you wanna do with your life.

13. Be good to your friends.

14. Know who your friends are.

15. Take weights as your PE. It may sound tiring and painful but you will seriously tack on serious mass.

16. Be an honest person. Phonies are like... bad...

17. Don't go home right after classes. (This advice came from the 2010 ORSEM manual. I found this to be very useful especially if you have helicopter parents)

18. Don't be stupid. Always put on a condom.

19. Religion is such a first year issue. Move on to more important ideas.

20. Complain about profs that slack off.

21. Sanuks look like preppy shoes but they're not. You can dress like a cool kid but still be a surfer.

22. Join LFC. Films are so good for appreciating music, art, stories and life in general.

23. If you're bad at sports, be proud of it. Basketball players have been having it too easy for far too long.

24. Yeah seriously. Fuck basketball.

25. Get a tablet and learn how to design. A useful skill in any project. The world is evolving a taste in design. Bad promotions for orgs will not be looked upon with favor in this environment.

26. Move out of your comfort zone. You might find that some of your decisions were stupid but it's these decisions that define you.

27. Find a way to stay cool. The Philippines is a hot country if you hadn't already noticed.

28. Take walks. Ateneo is a beautiful place. You'll be amazed at all the things you'll find if you penetrate it deep enough.

29. Exercise. You may not appreciate it on your first two years of college but once you hit your 3rd and 2th year P.E. will be something you'll miss sorely. Without P.E. gaining weight is too easy.

30. Once again, document. Take pics of even the mundane days. Blog. Write a journal. Plot your journey. Everyone says it but college is fast. You're gonna wanna go back to these things.

I'm gonna end it here but hey if you have questions, leave a comment or something.

The Final Chapter of College and My Life Decision

Alright. I promised a Singapore part 2 but I gotta write about this now since it's a more pressing issue.

My life decision.

If you know me then you probably know that I've been in limbo for the whole of my college life. I never knew if I was gonna go to med or not. To be honest, it was never originally part of the things that I thought to do with my life in my senior year of high school. The only reason I even thought to go into medicine was because I thought that it was a great compromise between getting to study about biology and getting a "real" job as my mom and dad would look at it. After all these years of Health Sci and subjects like Org Chem, Biochem and Cell Mol along with the occassional med school horror stories of students that previously did well in college only to have a shitstorm of studying and mediocre grades in med school... It did not have the glamor of what it looked like when I was in high school. That isn't to say that the idea of becoming a doctor was ALL bad. I also saw the good things in med school: a chance to help people using science, a seemingly cool job where I tell people how to get better and a means to earn a decent living...

After all these things being put into consideration, I often end up getting no where with my decision.

In this final chapter of college though, I gotta decide fast and work so I can get there.

The best I have so far is a plan wherein I study to become a biologist and at the same time work a regular job for my dad. The idea came from one of my Philosophy teachers, Ma'am Nicole. She told me about how she went through similar experiences as I did where her parents would brush away the idea of her getting a masters and getting into academia. Eventually the glamor died down and she found herself wanting to make a little extra money along the side. So she worked for her family business while working for her masters. The idea of me working for my family business is about the last thing I wanted to end up doing but Ma'am Nicole assured me that it does become exciting as you get into it.

So here I am trying to work out a similar plan in life. I guess the next step at this point would be to find the right connections in the kind of work that I wanna pursue. I remember a tweet that I managed to get form Sir David Attenborough himself. He said that the cutting edge of biology was genetics. While I have had experience in Biochem and Cell Mol, my line of interest really lies in zoology in general. Maybe as I study biology further I can find something that really sparks my interest and then I can find a way to make a real contribution to society. Wishful thinking.

So these are my goals now:
1. Find out how I can make the most out of a career in biology.
2. Find out what I'll be doing when I work for the family business.
3. Work out a clear plan for the next few years (what masters to take, what school to go to, what classes I need)
4. Pull up my grades so I don't look like such a jabroni when I apply.

Hope all goes well.

Here's some Akwafina.

Possible new future career paths and the realization of Rap's childhood dream

I'm considering shifting to Biology or Life Science/s. I came about this... consideration about a few days ago. After a very fun birdwalk with my molecular biology teacher, Ma'am Canlas, along with other nature related things such as trips to Ocean Park. I sort of rekindled that love of animals that I've always had. It's only now that I'm considering actually making that the main focus of my life. I have to admit though that maybe part of that courage for change came from my friend Deo's decision to shift out of Health Sciences. It was a bold move into the unknown. Totally unprecedented too. I took that as a sign that maybe this is the part of our lives where we change and grow and finally decide what we want to do with out lives. At least, that's what I thought until Deo decided to stay in our course and what courage I drew from him quickly evaporated into nothing. I was left thinking, "What where you thinking, Rap?!"

Right now I've managed to talk to several people about this. Mesh Maini, our zoology professor. Ma'am Canlas again. Tito Leo, a vet and the dad of an old friend of mine. Leo Liban, a friend with similar ideas. Sir Unsay, our chemistry professor and all around smart mofo. And Bea Chua, cool cat Korean-lover. I got some words of encouragement, some slightly less encouraging and some talk about ridiculous people. So here I am now. Writing my blog about making a big decision. Tito Leo told me that this is not that exciting a career. He gave me parts of the job that were the kind of things I would associate from boring desk jobs with little reward. Or maybe I was just imagining the worst. I dunno. What if I was just going for a spur of the moment thing? What if I could just stay in Health Sciences and take up further studies later on? How will I make any money from this? Is that even important? I don't even know.

Sigh.

Life decisions are a pain in the ass. They require lots of thinking and when one door is opened another one is closed. If I choose to be a biologist/naturalist I will never become an MD. Maybe that will be okay but given the tough times ahead I think that I will need the financial security. I hate always having to consider money.

I was rereading some of my blog posts. I found something about signatures. This is a lot like that. Only more important. How can I make a single defining decision for the rest of my life? Why can't I try lots of things and live a varied life? I feel like once I take care of this life work business, you're set for life then all that's left is following through and dying.

How will I even become a biologist if I don't know what it's about? How will this benefit the world? How can I make money from this? How can I love doing this? So many questions.

Is life anything like TV? Can I find all the awesome things I see on National Geographic or Discovery Channel in real life?

I should have asked these things years ago.

Hey, if you're reading this and you have some advice, I'd like to here it. If it's useful of course. Comment down below. I sound like a Youtube video.

Regular Blogging

Blogging is tedious work. You have to find interesting things to say and or find mundane ideas and bedazzle them to somehow make them entertaining. Keeping an online diary journal is pretty gay. (Even with the use of the word journal. I guess it's the use of the strikethrough.) Not as gay as video diaries though.

PatheticGirl43's video journal

Best show ever.

At the risk of being gay however, I will recount on event that took place yesterday. Right before the math midterms Deo, Aimee, Jules and I were discussing the prospect of obtaining a condo unit and dividing the expenses among ourselves. I thought it was brilliant. Us guys just living the independent college life. Having ramen noodles every night. Watching the cars in Katipunan from the roofdeck (oh Christmas party...).  Whether we'd actually get any school work done though...

I wish college life was that cool. Where you leave your home and live away from your family. Live independently. Find yourself. Discover what you wanna do in life. College so far is like, high school with girl schoolmates and a lot of breaks. Maybe I should be working harder on the self-realization part. I remember a conversation I had with Leo Liban. He was talking about going on a journey of self-realization. If he was strict on the Honey and Clover (totally heterosexual reference) aspect of it, that would mean taking a bicycle and going on a journey with nothing but a backpack of clothes, spare change in your pocket and no maps or direction in mind. (Tch. Yeah right, Leo. HAHAHAHAHA.)

Also, thanks to my new phone I can post pics of recent events.

Arthur, Jules and myself

Us during the first sem

Toni before ACET results...

...Toni after ACET results.

To my sister, it's totally fine that you failed. There are other schools out there. :)

Kidding. She passed.

My room in panoramic view.

The block in panoramic view. (Mico's Spider-man)

The End.