The Final Chapter of College and My Life Decision

Alright. I promised a Singapore part 2 but I gotta write about this now since it's a more pressing issue.

My life decision.

If you know me then you probably know that I've been in limbo for the whole of my college life. I never knew if I was gonna go to med or not. To be honest, it was never originally part of the things that I thought to do with my life in my senior year of high school. The only reason I even thought to go into medicine was because I thought that it was a great compromise between getting to study about biology and getting a "real" job as my mom and dad would look at it. After all these years of Health Sci and subjects like Org Chem, Biochem and Cell Mol along with the occassional med school horror stories of students that previously did well in college only to have a shitstorm of studying and mediocre grades in med school... It did not have the glamor of what it looked like when I was in high school. That isn't to say that the idea of becoming a doctor was ALL bad. I also saw the good things in med school: a chance to help people using science, a seemingly cool job where I tell people how to get better and a means to earn a decent living...

After all these things being put into consideration, I often end up getting no where with my decision.

In this final chapter of college though, I gotta decide fast and work so I can get there.

The best I have so far is a plan wherein I study to become a biologist and at the same time work a regular job for my dad. The idea came from one of my Philosophy teachers, Ma'am Nicole. She told me about how she went through similar experiences as I did where her parents would brush away the idea of her getting a masters and getting into academia. Eventually the glamor died down and she found herself wanting to make a little extra money along the side. So she worked for her family business while working for her masters. The idea of me working for my family business is about the last thing I wanted to end up doing but Ma'am Nicole assured me that it does become exciting as you get into it.

So here I am trying to work out a similar plan in life. I guess the next step at this point would be to find the right connections in the kind of work that I wanna pursue. I remember a tweet that I managed to get form Sir David Attenborough himself. He said that the cutting edge of biology was genetics. While I have had experience in Biochem and Cell Mol, my line of interest really lies in zoology in general. Maybe as I study biology further I can find something that really sparks my interest and then I can find a way to make a real contribution to society. Wishful thinking.

So these are my goals now:
1. Find out how I can make the most out of a career in biology.
2. Find out what I'll be doing when I work for the family business.
3. Work out a clear plan for the next few years (what masters to take, what school to go to, what classes I need)
4. Pull up my grades so I don't look like such a jabroni when I apply.

Hope all goes well.

Here's some Akwafina.

Possible new future career paths and the realization of Rap's childhood dream

I'm considering shifting to Biology or Life Science/s. I came about this... consideration about a few days ago. After a very fun birdwalk with my molecular biology teacher, Ma'am Canlas, along with other nature related things such as trips to Ocean Park. I sort of rekindled that love of animals that I've always had. It's only now that I'm considering actually making that the main focus of my life. I have to admit though that maybe part of that courage for change came from my friend Deo's decision to shift out of Health Sciences. It was a bold move into the unknown. Totally unprecedented too. I took that as a sign that maybe this is the part of our lives where we change and grow and finally decide what we want to do with out lives. At least, that's what I thought until Deo decided to stay in our course and what courage I drew from him quickly evaporated into nothing. I was left thinking, "What where you thinking, Rap?!"

Right now I've managed to talk to several people about this. Mesh Maini, our zoology professor. Ma'am Canlas again. Tito Leo, a vet and the dad of an old friend of mine. Leo Liban, a friend with similar ideas. Sir Unsay, our chemistry professor and all around smart mofo. And Bea Chua, cool cat Korean-lover. I got some words of encouragement, some slightly less encouraging and some talk about ridiculous people. So here I am now. Writing my blog about making a big decision. Tito Leo told me that this is not that exciting a career. He gave me parts of the job that were the kind of things I would associate from boring desk jobs with little reward. Or maybe I was just imagining the worst. I dunno. What if I was just going for a spur of the moment thing? What if I could just stay in Health Sciences and take up further studies later on? How will I make any money from this? Is that even important? I don't even know.

Sigh.

Life decisions are a pain in the ass. They require lots of thinking and when one door is opened another one is closed. If I choose to be a biologist/naturalist I will never become an MD. Maybe that will be okay but given the tough times ahead I think that I will need the financial security. I hate always having to consider money.

I was rereading some of my blog posts. I found something about signatures. This is a lot like that. Only more important. How can I make a single defining decision for the rest of my life? Why can't I try lots of things and live a varied life? I feel like once I take care of this life work business, you're set for life then all that's left is following through and dying.

How will I even become a biologist if I don't know what it's about? How will this benefit the world? How can I make money from this? How can I love doing this? So many questions.

Is life anything like TV? Can I find all the awesome things I see on National Geographic or Discovery Channel in real life?

I should have asked these things years ago.

Hey, if you're reading this and you have some advice, I'd like to here it. If it's useful of course. Comment down below. I sound like a Youtube video.

Late night blogging while there is a long test

Hello blog. Long time no see.

Lots of stuff happened and I don't feel like doing a recap. It was a lot. Which is why it might be worthwhile to invest in a camera. Just so I can document my life. Jules seems to have taken to using his phone to capture precious moments with out classmates. It's pretty cool actually. Not like the steadycab experiment though. -__-
Woah. Hey. Hope this isn't classified as basagan ng trip. Powerhungry motherfucker.

That was a reference to a recent hacking done on a blog that revealed lots of personal shit about people and criticized stuff at school. Crystal Eagle of course.Well she's dead now. She was hacked by this dude that was so proud of what he did. I'm not saying that what Crystal Eagle did was right. But then if we just resort to blackmail everytime someone just says something you don't like what are we then? As Frank Reynolds put it: "That sounds like it came straight from Stalin's ass."

If I were a tech company about to go into a deal with a person who has a track record like that, I'd certainly think twice about doing business with him.

Anyways,the year is almost over. I've gained even more weight. Cultivating mass so to speak. Which is cool. Studies show that men feel better about gaining weight than women. Apparently us fat guys grow into our bodies. Women just get bombarded by so much pressure to lose weight that they almost always feel bad about weight gain.

"Good... No fat chicks." -Anonymous

So here I am. Middle of the night. Long test tomorrow. It's a doozy too. Leadership and Strategy. Man. I wanna go on vacation already. Palawan here I come.

Oh yeah. I've been having pretty cool dreams recently. Very vivid ones. With lots of detail. The architecture of the stuff there was pretty impressive too. It made me consider getting a dream journal but those sound kind of dumb. I highly doubt that idea that says that you can analyze my dreams and help me understand my inner subconscious. Dreams are weird and most of the time mean nothing. Passing through the gates of Ivory.

The latest and most interesting thing is that I have appeared to made a Dutch friend. Hi Jorinde! She's cool. The Netherlands is cool. Wish I could go there and... do cool shit there. Also, I'm looking into how to be a volunteer for Amnesty International though I do not know what volunteers actually do. The first time I heard about it was watching a video Jeremy Irons did for them about the death penalty being wrong. Something I agree with.

I'll go post a few pics now. Just to show thanks to my one or two readers.

Mico during the shoot of the TD music video holding up a doodle he made.

Very surreal.

My little brother showing of a cool ass painting he did.

Vain mofo.

Bawse.

Albert using binoculars because he sits in the back row.

My mom ate these when she was pregnant with me. Hence my name. I am made of creamy coconut candy.

First hammock.

Fruits. :D

Earwigs are really really really really cool.

Karl shaving his head to be one with cancer patient kids.

Now holding his famous hair.

The Chillest Weekend Ever and Other Thoughts

This past weekend has been the chillest in a long time. Absolutely no homework or schoolwork done. It probably has much to do with the fact that math midterms has just blown by and I feel like I deserve to give myself some time to prep and relax before I see my terrible math grade. Sort of like when Filipinos beat the living shit out of a chicken before cooking it.

That chicken sure looks relaxed.

Why am I writing a second blogpost right after i had just accomplished one just yesterday? Probably because I wanted to hear myself think. Or read myself think. But then again, maybe the real reason why I'm writing is because I want to have something to look back at in the future. Somehow leave my mark. I've kept diaries journals before when I was a kid but I could never find it in myself to look back and re-read the entry. I put too much of myself into the diary and it exposes too much of myself to myself. This way at least I can keep some sort of record of my life and not have to see the bare thought on paper.

* * *

I have this fear. I like to talk about religion. At least for a little while. But even I get tired of talking about it. People usually get tired before me. My friend Jules told me that I was just joining the bandwagon when I argue about religion. He says that it's easy to argue against something that you can't prove. Jokingly, I remarked that it was way cooler to argue against how math works. He thought I was serious and he agreed. Goddamn Balma.

* * *

Earlier today, I was having a conversation with Aimee about what a guy like me can do with his life. Here's a list of things I might enjoy doing for a living.

1. Writer of erotic fiction

2. Doctor at a hospital in Boracay

3. Traveler

4. International Businessman

5. TV documentary show host

None of those seem too plausible. I don't wanna get a real job. Or work for a boring ass company. Or become a slave to money. I want to see the world. My mother did that when she was younger. She was a flight attendant and she went all over the world with friends. I'd listen to her crazy adventures as a kid and wait for her flight back just to get to the chocolates and toys she'd be bringing. It seemed like an amazing way to live. Which might explain why this was my list before I ended high school.

1. Pilot

2. Zoologist

3. Doctor

4. Lawyer

5. Writer of TV commercials

Basically, anything but businessman.

That does bring up an interesting thought though. Number five. Creativity. Money. Convincing people. Embellishing. That does sound like fun. It's a thought that I haven't visited in a while... Who knows. This could be a turning point in my life. I'll discuss this some other time. Until then, hello future me.