This will be the last blogpost I'll be making for my 19th year of life. WOOHOO. It's gonna be rushed because I only remembered to do this now. For some reason... Maybe I'm less gay now~
Sipping on a San Mig Light. Listening to Genki Sudo.
WOOHOO!
So what has transpired this past year...
Lots of changes. I guess. You can see that for yourself a little bit in my past entries. Yeah. I remember thinking back and thinking about how little I knew about myself. I felt like a misfit and I didn't know my place in the world. Everyone would tell me where I belonged but that was a load of bullshit. Nobody can ever tell you what you are. Neither can you. You need time and experience to really say who you are. You need to be tested. And I came up with that just now.
Thinking about that. I remember the cool stuff I did. The stuff I'm proud of. Then I remember my fuck ups. I had a lot. Whatever though. Learning process. That's life. Sigh.
More Genki Sudo.
Today, I feel glad about who I am. In spite of all the faults. Maybe in the future I can correct those faults.
Yeah. Less reflection now.
We just came from Batangas with Tito Mak, Tita Baby and Misato. It was pretty okay. I didn't get to sleep much though cause of the mattress which was still wrapped in plastic. :| and the pillows that felt like rubber. :| yeahhh. Sleeping there is hell. And to top it all off...gindara... Never eat that when you're planning to leave the house and you don't like outside toilets...
I did get to consume a LOT OF COCONUTS. I had buko juice. As much as I wanted. More than I wanted. Just last night I drank and entire pitcher of buko juice. Delicious. Also, I finally got to try the so-called "puwet ng niyog". It's sort of this ball of spongy material that forms in the center of a very mature coconut (niyog). It was like eating the center of a makopa fruit. The inside was very very sweet and wet from the coconut juices. The bad thing about it was that it tasted old. Like lasang amag old. But it was still really good. Fascinating experience. I first saw this in an episode of survivor man. I was like... "He has ice cream in his coconut...?" Now, I AM survivor man.
Also, I got a laptop. Which is cool. I tried Skyrim. SO MANY OPTIONS. I keep collecting shit. It got to the point where I catch butterflies rather than kill dragons... And people in this game don't like it when you go into their houses uninvited. It's not like in Pokemon where you just walk in like it's your fucking house. These people chase after you and KILL YOU.
So. Time check. It's 11:17 pm. *Deep breaths* Yeah. Goodbye teen years. You were weird. Lots of exploration. Getting to know me. Meeting people. Falling in love. Falling out of love. Getting rejected. Getting hurt. Laughing my shit off. Getting in trouble. Losing my religion. Making good friends. Making real friends. Getting drunk. Failing Math. Loving Lit. Getting into college. Fighting people. Hating people. Forgetting people. Siiiiiiiigh. Growing up. Coconut Hell...
It reminds me of Blankets. It's all about growing up and coming to terms with what happened. It's accepting all that as part of what shaped me today. I'm gonna miss those years. All things considered.
"How satisfying it is to leave a mark on a blank surface. To make a map of my movement--no matter how temporary." -Craig Thompson, Blankets
Thank you, dear reader. :)
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The abandoned walking dead post, signatures and Drunken Yapan
More music to listen to.
I just finished the latest issue of The Walking Dead. If you aren't familiar it's an ongoing comic book about a group of people surviving a zombie apocalypse. It sounds like your average zombie story but it isn't. The way they treat their characters and the way they show the evolution of the characters helps make the comic book character seem more 3D. Also, the writers are incredibly skilled at portraying the character's struggles to remain human while surviving in the land of the dead.
I was gonna blog about something but I totally forgot what. Then I abandoned this post for some weeks now.
Now it is a Wednesday night, I should be reading the rest of Kudaman, our assigned Filipino reading. It's a Palawan epic recited by some dude named Usuy. Right about now, I should be getting to the part where he gets wasted on rice wine, then transcends into another level of existence. But no. I'm slacking off. I was lying down just a while ago, thinking about signatures. When I was a kid the first things I had to sign were things like mealcards. No biggie. All you have to do is write your name. It's not like a legit legal document. Then come the documents my dad made me sign. You know you're fucked. Back when the other kids would practice their signatures in their notebooks, you thought, "what the fuck is the point?" Now I'm fucked. My dad was all serious. MAKE SURE YOUR SIGNATURE IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE LAST ONE. What the fuck!? WHY??!?! Jesus. How medieval is that?! Verifying the authenticity of a document based on the precision of someone's ballpen etchings!!!
...Okay fine. It's still pretty practical. But jeeeeeezzzz. Why the pressure?! I mean, I was still just a kid! What if my handwriting changed!? What if I felt like I wanted to change it??? There should be a system wherein kids that sign documents register the changes in their signatures. So that the motherfuckers that make us kids sign those motherfucking documents keep up with us.
And that is my rant on signatures.
Also, SOSE night is coming up in a few days.
FUUUUUUUUHUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I'll be looking back at this post and thinking about whether it was awesome or not. Last time I went drinking, I thought I was going to die. Perfect timing too. Kudaman's all about getting blasted now. Our teacher, Alvin Yapan, shared stories about his own drunken experiences. He told us about how he and his buddies toured Luzon after graduation. Just before Reality set in. They drank at a beach at La Union and took shot after shot of brandy. They thought it was all good fun 'til the stuff finally took effect. The next thing he knew, he was on his bed and it was morning. He blacked out. When he asked his friends the told him that he got MEGA-wasted that night. He started speaking in Bicolano and everyone thought he was just losing his shit. When they had enough they told him to pack his stuff up. He was very obedient. When he got to his room, he lied down on his banig because he was told to sleep. However, he didn't really sleep. He just lied there with his eyes wide open. Even a flashlight pointed at his face couldn't get him to close them. If I were there I'd be afraid that he just died on me.
Pretty cool story. I love his other stories and lectures. The reviews were right. You WILL learn a lot from Alvin Yapan. I am glad I got him as my teacher.
Anyways time to read Kudaman then dream of being a rockstar.
I just finished the latest issue of The Walking Dead. If you aren't familiar it's an ongoing comic book about a group of people surviving a zombie apocalypse. It sounds like your average zombie story but it isn't. The way they treat their characters and the way they show the evolution of the characters helps make the comic book character seem more 3D. Also, the writers are incredibly skilled at portraying the character's struggles to remain human while surviving in the land of the dead.
I was gonna blog about something but I totally forgot what. Then I abandoned this post for some weeks now.
Now it is a Wednesday night, I should be reading the rest of Kudaman, our assigned Filipino reading. It's a Palawan epic recited by some dude named Usuy. Right about now, I should be getting to the part where he gets wasted on rice wine, then transcends into another level of existence. But no. I'm slacking off. I was lying down just a while ago, thinking about signatures. When I was a kid the first things I had to sign were things like mealcards. No biggie. All you have to do is write your name. It's not like a legit legal document. Then come the documents my dad made me sign. You know you're fucked. Back when the other kids would practice their signatures in their notebooks, you thought, "what the fuck is the point?" Now I'm fucked. My dad was all serious. MAKE SURE YOUR SIGNATURE IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS THE LAST ONE. What the fuck!? WHY??!?! Jesus. How medieval is that?! Verifying the authenticity of a document based on the precision of someone's ballpen etchings!!!
...Okay fine. It's still pretty practical. But jeeeeeezzzz. Why the pressure?! I mean, I was still just a kid! What if my handwriting changed!? What if I felt like I wanted to change it??? There should be a system wherein kids that sign documents register the changes in their signatures. So that the motherfuckers that make us kids sign those motherfucking documents keep up with us.
And that is my rant on signatures.
Also, SOSE night is coming up in a few days.
FUUUUUUUUHUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I'll be looking back at this post and thinking about whether it was awesome or not. Last time I went drinking, I thought I was going to die. Perfect timing too. Kudaman's all about getting blasted now. Our teacher, Alvin Yapan, shared stories about his own drunken experiences. He told us about how he and his buddies toured Luzon after graduation. Just before Reality set in. They drank at a beach at La Union and took shot after shot of brandy. They thought it was all good fun 'til the stuff finally took effect. The next thing he knew, he was on his bed and it was morning. He blacked out. When he asked his friends the told him that he got MEGA-wasted that night. He started speaking in Bicolano and everyone thought he was just losing his shit. When they had enough they told him to pack his stuff up. He was very obedient. When he got to his room, he lied down on his banig because he was told to sleep. However, he didn't really sleep. He just lied there with his eyes wide open. Even a flashlight pointed at his face couldn't get him to close them. If I were there I'd be afraid that he just died on me.
Pretty cool story. I love his other stories and lectures. The reviews were right. You WILL learn a lot from Alvin Yapan. I am glad I got him as my teacher.
Anyways time to read Kudaman then dream of being a rockstar.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Trivia Contest and ES has a secret political agenda
Muscle pains all day from weights the day before. Felt awesome.
So this happened today.
Failed to find a link to the Jacobian Cup.
What is the Jacobian Cup? It's a trivia contest that the Ateneo Math Society holds every year as part of its efforts to externalize. Or something. Aimee and I joined and went up against something like 23 teams. We totally made it to the top 10 of the first round. Got eliminated at the second round though. Oh well. It was fun though applying some trivial facts that I thought would be useless. Although, so many religious questions. -___- It wasn't only me that noticed too. Not a single animal trivia question. Bastards.
Also, ES has a political agenda and my teacher knows little about science. At least that's what I'm thinking so far. We took up topics like the energy cycle and for some reason she spend about 5 slides worth of explanation on the same exact thing. I get it animals only take in 10 percent of what the previous animal ate. -___- Also, all the little bits of environmental news my teacher loves to share is bad news. Climate change. Overpopulation. Desert sand going into the Carribean Sea. I am learning nothing new. -__- Why is ES only about bad shit that happens? Gah. I'm probably getting ahead of myself. MAYBE it'll get better... -___- right.
Also, I have to report on cons of the RH bill and report on the impacts of nuclear energy. -___________- fuck. that. shit. bro. Why couldn't she pick the one about the Butaan lizard?! That's mega interesting!!! BIODIVERSITY!!! -___________________- Totally fits within the context of ES!!! GAH. Maybe it has too much non-doomsday related stuff... -___-
Maybe it'll get better. -_-
Anyway, here's the Earth. Enjoy. It's not going away anytime soon. At least not because of man.
So this happened today.
Failed to find a link to the Jacobian Cup.
What is the Jacobian Cup? It's a trivia contest that the Ateneo Math Society holds every year as part of its efforts to externalize. Or something. Aimee and I joined and went up against something like 23 teams. We totally made it to the top 10 of the first round. Got eliminated at the second round though. Oh well. It was fun though applying some trivial facts that I thought would be useless. Although, so many religious questions. -___- It wasn't only me that noticed too. Not a single animal trivia question. Bastards.
Also, ES has a political agenda and my teacher knows little about science. At least that's what I'm thinking so far. We took up topics like the energy cycle and for some reason she spend about 5 slides worth of explanation on the same exact thing. I get it animals only take in 10 percent of what the previous animal ate. -___- Also, all the little bits of environmental news my teacher loves to share is bad news. Climate change. Overpopulation. Desert sand going into the Carribean Sea. I am learning nothing new. -__- Why is ES only about bad shit that happens? Gah. I'm probably getting ahead of myself. MAYBE it'll get better... -___- right.
Also, I have to report on cons of the RH bill and report on the impacts of nuclear energy. -___________- fuck. that. shit. bro. Why couldn't she pick the one about the Butaan lizard?! That's mega interesting!!! BIODIVERSITY!!! -___________________- Totally fits within the context of ES!!! GAH. Maybe it has too much non-doomsday related stuff... -___-
Maybe it'll get better. -_-
Anyway, here's the Earth. Enjoy. It's not going away anytime soon. At least not because of man.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
11:11 is too fucking GHAY, Condos and Moonleaf politics (lots of other stuff too)
It was a nice day though. Ask Aimee. That post wasn't really about 11/11. It was about today. Which sort of defeats the purpose of blogging about today. I'll do it anyway. (My blog is better)
To start my day off, I totally missed NSTP. Fucking great. This was the re-orientation day where we needed to be reintroduced to the rules of NSTP just in case we forgot them already. I set my alarm for 6:30 am and ended up waking up at 9:27 am. Whatever. NSTP can suck it. If you guys are unfamiliar, it means that you wake up early on Saturdays just to do some sort of health education thing for kids at Bagong Silang. I can appreciate the potential for something really good. I just don't think we are doing it the best way that we can. Teaching these kids about really basic stuff (such as washing your hands or covering your mouth after sneezing) isn't going to do much unless we continually drill these ideas into their little fucking minds. The parents aren't very helpful either. Always littering all over the fucking place. It would be cool to teach the parents too but according to previous batches, they never listen. So that's NSTP for you. Maybe that's the point, to get us all mad at its inefficiency so that we get to do more after we graduate.
Later on today though, I talked to my bio lab teacher Sir Mesh about his thoughts on organics. A little surprisingly, he was for it. I guess I was surprised because I was already so biased towards organics being a bad thing. I believe that going backwards to old school farming techniques will be the downfall of man. However, I could be wrong. I'll talk to him about it some more next time. Maybe blog about it. Or rage about it. Especially in ES class. Shit. Fuuuhuuucking ES class. We're required to take an ES class for my course. So far. It's fucking bananas. How general is ES class. Based on the syllabus and the introduction given in class, a lot of it is about the problems and damage people are doing to the planet. It seems like nothing new. Sort of like all the shit you get from doomsayers about global warming or pollution or plastic. It's not that I don't believe that those things could be problems I just hate that people eat it all up anyway without really researching and looking at the problem from all angles. I hope ES class will do this for us. I hope it will present these issues and allow us to consider and analyze them in ways that mainstream media does not want us to do.
Back to the stuff for the day, I went with Aimee to check out a potential condo type living situation at Berkley. I waited by Savemore and I couldn't help thinking about how fucking evil SM is. The want to control EVERYTHING. Our Filipino teacher, the legendary Alvin Yapan, talking about how SM is trying to PENETRATE (I mean this in the harshest and most sexual way possible) the Philippine film industry. According to him, they're planning to produce films in spite of their current role as distributors. This creates the opportunity for SM to monopolize the audiences that go into their malls. They want their movies to be the ONLY MOVIES YOU WATCH. The implications are staggering. His hope is that the Aquino administration has the balls to put a stop to this potential threat to Filipino films. America made it illegal for distributors to be producers. Hopefully we can do the same.
Gah. More sidetrackedness.
So. We went into the lobby and sat down on the world's most comfortable sofa. Really soft. It was also nice and cool inside. Smelled really clean (AND EVIL). So then we met the guy and he showed us the unit. It looked smaller than the one that the Berkley guys were showing us. It was also incredibly hot in there. The sun was facing the room during the hottest part of the day. If you use this room, you need a real good aircon to go with it. It is like a greenhouse in there without it. If you keep any pets in there, they will DIE from heatstroke unless you leave the aircon on. Even then, I think the room might still be hot. I wouldn't take it. Or maybe I'm just thinking that cause there weren't any curtains to keep out the sun. Might be cooler then.
Next part of the day.
We went to mindmovers. Bought cell biology books. There.
Then we got milk tea at Moonleaf. I ordered a (fine, it's delicious...) Caramel Milk Tea. Then Aimee and I sat down in front of the freedom wall that was full of Post-It's. A lot of them were GHAYYY. Like high schooler noobs going "Wanted: Prom Date ;))". GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH. FUCK YOU NOOB!!! I don't get it. Why the fuck would people draw sideways emoticons when they are not bound by the symbols on the keys that are available to them?! Holy shit. Stupid shit. None of the posts were very clever or anything. Just stupid shit like "Something something was here. 11:11" Fuuuuhuuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeee. That is why I got so absorbed in my posting of shit I was raging about. Lots of those things went like "SM is an evil corporation!" or "Legalize gay marriage!" However, I didn't go all buttfuck rebel on them. I did next level up Aimee's long cat.
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| pre-leveled up |
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| leveled up |
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| Both of them were mine. |
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| I hope you can see the humor in this. :D |
Here's a some photos you may have missed.
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| Check out the size of the river beside the house near mine. Shot during Pedring. |
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| Made a candle out of water, vegetable oil and paper towel. |
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| Aimee with a butterfly at Ilocos. |
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| Me with a parrot and a lame pirate gimmick. |
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| Aimee with a parrot. n_n |
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| A sketch of Jules' face. |
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| A shrimp we dissected and sketched. |
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| The soap I made for Chem. Packaging designed by me. |
Yeah. You watch this now. n_n
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRHxTMq1xk4&list=FLuQhbP60s1h0KObnWEm60Dg&index=78&feature=plpp_video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRHxTMq1xk4&list=FLuQhbP60s1h0KObnWEm60Dg&index=78&feature=plpp_video
Monday, November 7, 2011
I should blog more, Last night of sort of sembreak, Listening to Midnight Rider, Gay snakes
Listen to this, fool.
Discovered that song thanks to Rob Zombie's movie: The Devil's Rejects.
"I am the Devil...and I do the Devil's work."
I highly recommend it.
Anyways, I was just going through the past entries on my blog and I decided that I should try to post more often this sem. It felt nice looking back and being reminded of my thoughts. I live so much in the present that I forget all about the past. That was another thing I learned from the Walking Dead. A comic I just caught up with recently. Actually, I'm still pretty behind. It's November and I'm at the August issue. For those of you that don't know the graphic novel, you definitely should check it out. More people will probably be more familiar with the television series. No problem. It is very very good. They took characters from the series and made them more interesting and 3D. Literally. LOL.
Another thing I realized in my past entries: I sounded like a fucking girl. That's a lot, Aimee. That's what you get when your only prior blog experience came from a cutesy blogging girl. Or maybe. I really do just sound like a girl. Or maybe all people that blog sound like girls.
I forgot to mention previously that I've just created my Formspring account. Leaving me open to anonymous attack. Something that a certain anonymous asshole already has done. Ah well. The bastard's already been shooed away.
Deep breaths.
So here comes the second sem. Second sem of second year. What has changed? Hopefully a lot more this sem. I gotta grab this bull by the horns. That means getting a notebook. I was stupid enough last sem not to buy one. The fuck. Thank God I made it.
This sem also marks the last chance I have of thinking about shifting. I'm leaning more towards a no now. I wonder if this decision will affect me positively or negatively...
My paragraphs are becoming shorter.
Hey I still don't know where my classes are. I'll go check.
Fuck I'll have a hard time sleeping later. My regular bedtime is 3am. Fuck.
I've also tried to do a nanowrimo thing... Eh...
*grunt*
Here's a gay snake.
Discovered that song thanks to Rob Zombie's movie: The Devil's Rejects.
"I am the Devil...and I do the Devil's work."
I highly recommend it.
Anyways, I was just going through the past entries on my blog and I decided that I should try to post more often this sem. It felt nice looking back and being reminded of my thoughts. I live so much in the present that I forget all about the past. That was another thing I learned from the Walking Dead. A comic I just caught up with recently. Actually, I'm still pretty behind. It's November and I'm at the August issue. For those of you that don't know the graphic novel, you definitely should check it out. More people will probably be more familiar with the television series. No problem. It is very very good. They took characters from the series and made them more interesting and 3D. Literally. LOL.
Another thing I realized in my past entries: I sounded like a fucking girl. That's a lot, Aimee. That's what you get when your only prior blog experience came from a cutesy blogging girl. Or maybe. I really do just sound like a girl. Or maybe all people that blog sound like girls.
I forgot to mention previously that I've just created my Formspring account. Leaving me open to anonymous attack. Something that a certain anonymous asshole already has done. Ah well. The bastard's already been shooed away.
Deep breaths.
So here comes the second sem. Second sem of second year. What has changed? Hopefully a lot more this sem. I gotta grab this bull by the horns. That means getting a notebook. I was stupid enough last sem not to buy one. The fuck. Thank God I made it.
This sem also marks the last chance I have of thinking about shifting. I'm leaning more towards a no now. I wonder if this decision will affect me positively or negatively...
My paragraphs are becoming shorter.
Hey I still don't know where my classes are. I'll go check.
Fuck I'll have a hard time sleeping later. My regular bedtime is 3am. Fuck.
I've also tried to do a nanowrimo thing... Eh...
*grunt*
Here's a gay snake.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Sembreak Almost Over and I became nocturnal.
As the title suggests, Sembreak is almost over. Classes will resume on the 8th. Also, I have become nocturnal. Sleeping late has pushed my bed time all the way to 4 in the morning. Hopefully I can quickly readjust to the proper sleep patterns of a college student.
So what was this sembreak about? Mostly internet and movies. Tried to download a lot of the movies that I've been meaning to watch. These are a few.
Annie Hall
The Army of Darkness Trilogy
Let the Right One In
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
The Fly (1986)
The Devil's Rejects (Awesome music)
El Topo (FUCKED UP)
Bunny and the Bull (Awesome awesome awesome)
Throw in some Always Sunny in Philadelphia there and some community and a couple of episodes of The Walking Dead and that's my sembreak.
What did I learn from watching these movies? For starters, you should watch the trailer before watching the actual movie or at least know what the movie is about. It sucks having to guess where the movie's going when you have no idea as to what it's all about. Let the Right One In was supposed to be like maybe a romance or a drama. Then it had fuckin' vampires. Good movie though. :D
Also, I have rekindled my love for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Sigh. Yeah I'm part of the cult following. I guess they just really grew into me because of my habit of always ending my day with an old episode. They're like my family.
Loser. (Capinpuyan, 2011)
u_u
Whatever. Your loss! The series is fuckin' awesome.Especially the latest season. They really turned it up a notch! Fuckin' A. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rENwEiBC_E
Aside from those things though here's another list of things I did.
1. Went trick or treating in spite of my age. u_u Pretty fucking embarassing. Except for my fucking Orgy mask. (Always Sunny reference. I have never participated in an orgy.)
So what was this sembreak about? Mostly internet and movies. Tried to download a lot of the movies that I've been meaning to watch. These are a few.
Annie Hall
The Army of Darkness Trilogy
Let the Right One In
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
The Fly (1986)
The Devil's Rejects (Awesome music)
El Topo (FUCKED UP)
Bunny and the Bull (Awesome awesome awesome)
Throw in some Always Sunny in Philadelphia there and some community and a couple of episodes of The Walking Dead and that's my sembreak.
What did I learn from watching these movies? For starters, you should watch the trailer before watching the actual movie or at least know what the movie is about. It sucks having to guess where the movie's going when you have no idea as to what it's all about. Let the Right One In was supposed to be like maybe a romance or a drama. Then it had fuckin' vampires. Good movie though. :D
Also, I have rekindled my love for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Sigh. Yeah I'm part of the cult following. I guess they just really grew into me because of my habit of always ending my day with an old episode. They're like my family.
Loser. (Capinpuyan, 2011)
u_u
Whatever. Your loss! The series is fuckin' awesome.Especially the latest season. They really turned it up a notch! Fuckin' A. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rENwEiBC_E
Aside from those things though here's another list of things I did.
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| What is the password? |
2. Boned up on my Horror Cult Classics thanks to James the Nintendo Nerd. That's where I got the idea to download The Fly and the Army of Darkness trilogy. I highly recommend that you watch his reviews. Fun and horizon-broadening. n_n
3. Did a gay VTR. Don't ask.
4. Missed a lot of breakfasts due to oversleeping.
5. Bought one new shirt. :D u____u
6. Finally played a Nancy Drew game. -_______-
7. -_______- Used this smiley too much.
8. Waited impatiently for something that isn't mine. u________u
9. Acted for a high school student in a TD music video. -____-
Yeah. So that's sembreak. Which leads us to...
THE NEW SEMESTER!!!
God. That's the halfway mark of my college life. Almost. Thanks to the fact that I passed chem last sem I only have 1 more science subject to care about. After that it's all non-science and NON-THEO!!! WOOHOO!
I'm gonna try to take advantage of this. Gotta pull up my grades to meet that QPI. The first step in achieving this would be to properly gear up by buying the right supplies. That means an actual notebook. Something that I did not have last sem. HAHAHAHAHA!!! Awesome shit.
Also coming up this sem is my totally difficult PE. Weights. Hopefully I don't shatter my arms and legs. -_-
So. I think that's about it. At least all that I can think of.
Yeah.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Ahh Sembreak
Sembreak.
I'm barely even blogging anymore and the only time that I actually feel like talking about anything is when I have nobody to talk to and I have nothing to watch. I should stop always nagging about why I never blog regularly. It is quite gay.
So. I'll go all chronological. Sembreak began with a rather strange breakdown of emotions courtesy of a certain person I always hang around. Haha. You crazy person you. THEN the next day came. It promised to be quite an awesome day because my dear beloved blockmate, Jhalec, was treating the entire block to yet another smokeless grill buffet meal. This time a lunch. It was rather excellent. I fuckin' love sushi. I used to wish that I could have an entire fucking house built of sushi. Now I know that dream to be lie. My father would never approve. (sigh)
ALSO, it must be noted that it was during this day that I first parked into a mall carpark...BY MYSELF. OHSHIT. I'm a total faggot... WELL FUCK YOU TOO, DUDE!!!
Anyways, the food was excellent. And I spent a lot of the lunch time taking pictures like a fuckin' hipster. Totally sweet. Aimee, saw this and noticed that I quite intentionally took pictures of all the male crotches in the block. She said that if had collected all the pics that I've been taking and placed them into a single collage type of work I'd have a piece of art. Very pretentious (according to Jules) art... But still art.
That lunch was pretty sweet too cause it was then that I got the result of one of my biolab long tests. I got pretty good there. 49/60. Although, due to a correction, I should get 50. Fuck yeah bitch. Not that impressive...
So then after an interesting afternoon of monkeyshines and shenanigens. We had a drinking session at Albert's place. I'll sum it up by saying that Cobra Smart mixed with drinks is an excellent way to never want to drink the rest of the night due to the fucking headache you get from the fucking Cobra Smart. Banana flavoring = motherfucking nail polish. Piano Man is the greatest song to sing when you're drinking. Ever. EVER. EVER. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxEPV4kolz0&ob=av3e Click it fool. And finally, beer is damn delicious and under-appreciated by the current youth (or just my block). *drinks ice-cold Coors Light* FUCKING DELICIOUS.
I grow tired of blogging about my fun times. I'll just remember them whimsically when they pop back in my head.
I'd just like to share just one more thing that I thought about just yesterday. It has something to do with the pic below.
Well, my point really more has to do with the actual thing. The picture does no justice to the actual thing.
This is a shot I took with my phone of the sun set at Taal Lake. We just came from Tagaytay a few hours ago. For the first time that we've been there we decided to take a boat to see the volcano itself. It was cool. The trip back was the chillest thing ever. All I could see was just wide open space. You could see some lake birds flying by the boat. The sky was painted with different colors. Everything was just so wide and beautiful. The silence. The splash of the water by the side of the boat. The colors in the sky. The clouds. The way patches of the sky remained blue while other parts turned orange. It was just so amazing. I felt like I was just a dude again. That being a reference to the time during the Ilocos fieldtrip where I told Nica that I felt like "just a dude in the world" as I looked out to the road. That same feeling came back to me. It was an awesome feeling. I felt so small but still so happy to be alive to breathe in all this life.
It was more than chill. It was just remembering that I am alive.
So how about some "just a dude" tunes?
Dust in the Wind - Kansas
Blowin' in the Wind - Bob Dylan (preferred but the other one is cool too)
That lunch was pretty sweet too cause it was then that I got the result of one of my biolab long tests. I got pretty good there. 49/60. Although, due to a correction, I should get 50. Fuck yeah bitch. Not that impressive...
So then after an interesting afternoon of monkeyshines and shenanigens. We had a drinking session at Albert's place. I'll sum it up by saying that Cobra Smart mixed with drinks is an excellent way to never want to drink the rest of the night due to the fucking headache you get from the fucking Cobra Smart. Banana flavoring = motherfucking nail polish. Piano Man is the greatest song to sing when you're drinking.
I grow tired of blogging about my fun times. I'll just remember them whimsically when they pop back in my head.
I'd just like to share just one more thing that I thought about just yesterday. It has something to do with the pic below.
 |
| Boom. |
This is a shot I took with my phone of the sun set at Taal Lake. We just came from Tagaytay a few hours ago. For the first time that we've been there we decided to take a boat to see the volcano itself. It was cool. The trip back was the chillest thing ever. All I could see was just wide open space. You could see some lake birds flying by the boat. The sky was painted with different colors. Everything was just so wide and beautiful. The silence. The splash of the water by the side of the boat. The colors in the sky. The clouds. The way patches of the sky remained blue while other parts turned orange. It was just so amazing. I felt like I was just a dude again. That being a reference to the time during the Ilocos fieldtrip where I told Nica that I felt like "just a dude in the world" as I looked out to the road. That same feeling came back to me. It was an awesome feeling. I felt so small but still so happy to be alive to breathe in all this life.
It was more than chill. It was just remembering that I am alive.
So how about some "just a dude" tunes?
Dust in the Wind - Kansas
Blowin' in the Wind - Bob Dylan (preferred but the other one is cool too)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
For Sir G
This past week's been a strange week. Long tests. The final FLC (fuck yeah). Post Ilocos field trip. Which reminds me. I haven't blogged about a lot of things I should have been blogging about. The top of that list would have to be the death of my high school art teacher.
He was Mr. Carreon. My class and I called him Sir G. He was awesome. Always fashionable. Extremely friendly. Always happy to see you. He was a friend more than a teacher. But he was still a damn good one. He taught us all about art and what we should expect from art. The last time we talked was early during my first year of college. Back then I used to walk to school using Murphy's walk to go through the high school on my to the college. I bumped into him near the APSA. I think I was gonna ask Sir Sandy at the APSA if I could still get a Murphy's walk pass. (Just goes to show how high school minded I was up 'til then. Also, if you pass at Murphy's walk, you'll only ever need the pass once in your entire stay. Nobody ever watches that entrance into Ateneo except when opening or closing it.) So Sir G and I chatted a bit. I remember him complimenting me on my nice shoes. The black ones with the green, yellow and red stripes. My everyday shoes. It was really nice to hear that from him especially since he was the perfect model of a fashionable dude. We also talked about the stupid misprint on my I.D. It said School of Social Sciences and Engeneering. Sir G was like "Ateneo de Manila ba 'to?!" And I was like, "I know right".
It was really sad to lose him. To never have a chance to talk to him again. Talk about that Mideo Cruz exhibit. See what he thought about it. Analyze that shit. But I guess the smallest silver lining in all this is that whatever he taught and all the memories that we have of him will stay with us. In that way I guess he's never gone. We'll always remember him.
I talked to Aimee about this the night after we found out about his passing away. Everything is a memory. At least to us it is. It's a concept I remember discussing in Mr. Devilles' Filipino class. Anyways, everything is a memory. That's what ties together what happened and what happens today. So, even though someone dies. We still remember who they are and what they were to us. It's not a perfect way of looking at things. It's no replacement for actually having him back but at least we can reflect on how these people change us and make us who we are.
So there.
That's most of what I wanna say for Sir G.
Thank you, Sir. You changed me in a lot of ways. I'll always remember you.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
GK, Fatcats, Traveling, Blips in Time, Dr Manhattan and Hope (One of the most malabo posts ever...or the best one yet!)
So we came from a GK visit just yesterday. It was going to be the first time we'd actually get to the meat of this whole NSTP thing and get away from all the preparations, talks and introductions. We got to the site and were immediately greeted by lots of kids that recognized us from previous visits. Some of them going, "Kuya Rap! Habulan nanaman tayo!" It felt nice to be remembered. Awkward though since I totally forgot who that kid was.
After walking up to the center of the area you'd notice that it's not as clean and pristine as all the videos about GK would suggest. There was still one river of garbage that I has yet to be cleaned up or at least fenced off so that people won't fall in. But I guess that's not so bad considering how the place must have looked before they started building better homes. Anyways, we were split up into groups. I had the distinct pleasure of being teamed up with Cheryl! Something I was thankful for because her cheerful pleasantness greatly complemented my being a badass with a heart of gold. Plus her Filipino is much better than mine...
We got to the first house. You could see that it was small even on the inside. The living room/ sleeping area comprised of a shelf of toys and trinkets, a picture frame full of medals and ribbons and a small TV (I might be making up the part about the TV). We sat on small plastic chairs near the door. Beside us you could see a thin girl was busy working on her school project about the different natural land formations in the Philippines. She was cutting up pictures from a poster and gluing them onto some bond papers. (We later found out that she owned those medals and ribbons). Beth, her mother was seated in a small chair in front of us. To her side, was her five year old son who would later on prove to be sort of the main thing about the visit.
As we proceeded with the interview we learned that our host had one more daughter who was busy playing outside and a husband that worked as a janitor. She told us that her two daughters both go to school only when they had enough money to take the trike that they needed to get there. What really interested me was what she told us about her son, Johnver's, medical condition. He had an enlarged heart and apparently needed a heart transplant. Currently they're waiting for an available donor to pop up. In the meantime, he takes medication provided by a German medical mission thing that has been working there for the past 25 years. These kind people supply him with the medicine he needs for no charge but unfortunately can no longer help him once their contract expires. That means his parents will have to buy the medicine for him. At about Php 350 per tablet, a recommended dosage of 1 tablet a day, and a minimum wage salary of Php 300+ a day (not including food, living expenses, and other things they have to pay for), I highly doubt they'll be able to maintain his medication without help.
According to her most medical missions only supply stuff like antibiotics. They do not cater to special cases like Johnver's. I couldn't help thinking about the government again. About how those motherfucking fat cats are nice and cozy living in their big ranches and huge flat screen TV's. Stealing money that could have been used to help people that will probably die without that help.
It's a sad screwed up world we live in. People can be hella selfish. There is some good though. On occassion. I guess GK is a testament to that.
I wish I could help too but then there's also I lot that I want for myself. I just saw a video that featured some hipster dude traveling the world. It's a really simple shot but the beauty from it comes from the stunning HD and the many many colorful sights and locations. It makes anyone want to quit and become a traveler. Question: how does one become a traveler? And I mean traveler not tourist.
Wish life were that easy. Wish people didn't have to die so unfairly. Wish traveling didn't cost so much. Wish I could go around the world and taste all the different dishes they have to offer. I wanna fucking eat some sushi.
Sigh.
You know there was this other thing that I was thinking about in church (other than mass blows lol). I was thinking that we're not so important. It's not a new thought but I got a different perspective of it in church. I looked around and saw all the people going to church as little blips in the history of the universe. They're just carrying on what happened billions of years ago. I mean life. As human beings we like to think of ourselves as important and special. We live our lives not considering the millions, thousands of even hundreds of years that will go by. We put importance in ourselves only (teenagers especially, psychology 101 will tell you that), when really, all we're going to do is die. The Earth will continue to exist for millions of years after all the humans on Earth have died. I'm not saddened by this though, cause as soon as my mind zooms out to that vast distance of time and space I remember where I am. Right here in a tiny little corner of the universe. Typing on my little keyboard and sipping on cold coffee.
I'm going to die but then so what? It's a marvel I'm alive in the first place. It's scary and vast out there but it's from that very same stuff that I was born.
I guess I got to thinking about this cause I remember Mr. Manhattan talking about this with Laurie Juspeczy, the Silk Spectre. He found the value of life in its unlikelihood. He called it a Thermodynamic Miracle. And if you're gonna go like, "You can say that about every life form!"
He said this:
"Yes. Anybody in the world. ..But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... I forget. We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from the another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take our breath away. Come... dry your eyes, for you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg. Come, dry your eyes. And let's go home."
Yeah. I better conclude this thing. Maybe in a few years I can come up with something better. Right now though I hope you guys are alright with this:
The world is a dark place full of problems and death but I guess that's why it's a good thing we can dream and go beyond what we have. Selfish or not selfish it's a way for us to remember what we can do to make our lives and the lives of others better. It's also a way for us to gain new perspectives and see the miracles in the seemingly commonplace. Johnver might be able to get some help if we do something about it. I could get to travel if I stay with my relatives in Japan. People around us become miracles that defy the chaos so prevalent in the universe. Maybe someday I'll get my sushi.
So yeah. It's good to dream, cause dreams are hopes and hope never dies.
After walking up to the center of the area you'd notice that it's not as clean and pristine as all the videos about GK would suggest. There was still one river of garbage that I has yet to be cleaned up or at least fenced off so that people won't fall in. But I guess that's not so bad considering how the place must have looked before they started building better homes. Anyways, we were split up into groups. I had the distinct pleasure of being teamed up with Cheryl! Something I was thankful for because her cheerful pleasantness greatly complemented my being a badass with a heart of gold. Plus her Filipino is much better than mine...
We got to the first house. You could see that it was small even on the inside. The living room/ sleeping area comprised of a shelf of toys and trinkets, a picture frame full of medals and ribbons and a small TV (I might be making up the part about the TV). We sat on small plastic chairs near the door. Beside us you could see a thin girl was busy working on her school project about the different natural land formations in the Philippines. She was cutting up pictures from a poster and gluing them onto some bond papers. (We later found out that she owned those medals and ribbons). Beth, her mother was seated in a small chair in front of us. To her side, was her five year old son who would later on prove to be sort of the main thing about the visit.
As we proceeded with the interview we learned that our host had one more daughter who was busy playing outside and a husband that worked as a janitor. She told us that her two daughters both go to school only when they had enough money to take the trike that they needed to get there. What really interested me was what she told us about her son, Johnver's, medical condition. He had an enlarged heart and apparently needed a heart transplant. Currently they're waiting for an available donor to pop up. In the meantime, he takes medication provided by a German medical mission thing that has been working there for the past 25 years. These kind people supply him with the medicine he needs for no charge but unfortunately can no longer help him once their contract expires. That means his parents will have to buy the medicine for him. At about Php 350 per tablet, a recommended dosage of 1 tablet a day, and a minimum wage salary of Php 300+ a day (not including food, living expenses, and other things they have to pay for), I highly doubt they'll be able to maintain his medication without help.
According to her most medical missions only supply stuff like antibiotics. They do not cater to special cases like Johnver's. I couldn't help thinking about the government again. About how those motherfucking fat cats are nice and cozy living in their big ranches and huge flat screen TV's. Stealing money that could have been used to help people that will probably die without that help.
It's a sad screwed up world we live in. People can be hella selfish. There is some good though. On occassion. I guess GK is a testament to that.
I wish I could help too but then there's also I lot that I want for myself. I just saw a video that featured some hipster dude traveling the world. It's a really simple shot but the beauty from it comes from the stunning HD and the many many colorful sights and locations. It makes anyone want to quit and become a traveler. Question: how does one become a traveler? And I mean traveler not tourist.
Wish life were that easy. Wish people didn't have to die so unfairly. Wish traveling didn't cost so much. Wish I could go around the world and taste all the different dishes they have to offer. I wanna fucking eat some sushi.
Sigh.
You know there was this other thing that I was thinking about in church (other than mass blows lol). I was thinking that we're not so important. It's not a new thought but I got a different perspective of it in church. I looked around and saw all the people going to church as little blips in the history of the universe. They're just carrying on what happened billions of years ago. I mean life. As human beings we like to think of ourselves as important and special. We live our lives not considering the millions, thousands of even hundreds of years that will go by. We put importance in ourselves only (teenagers especially, psychology 101 will tell you that), when really, all we're going to do is die. The Earth will continue to exist for millions of years after all the humans on Earth have died. I'm not saddened by this though, cause as soon as my mind zooms out to that vast distance of time and space I remember where I am. Right here in a tiny little corner of the universe. Typing on my little keyboard and sipping on cold coffee.
I'm going to die but then so what? It's a marvel I'm alive in the first place. It's scary and vast out there but it's from that very same stuff that I was born.
I guess I got to thinking about this cause I remember Mr. Manhattan talking about this with Laurie Juspeczy, the Silk Spectre. He found the value of life in its unlikelihood. He called it a Thermodynamic Miracle. And if you're gonna go like, "You can say that about every life form!"
He said this:
"Yes. Anybody in the world. ..But the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget... I forget. We gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from the another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take our breath away. Come... dry your eyes, for you are life, rarer than a quark and unpredictable beyond the dreams of Heisenberg. Come, dry your eyes. And let's go home."
Yeah. I better conclude this thing. Maybe in a few years I can come up with something better. Right now though I hope you guys are alright with this:
The world is a dark place full of problems and death but I guess that's why it's a good thing we can dream and go beyond what we have. Selfish or not selfish it's a way for us to remember what we can do to make our lives and the lives of others better. It's also a way for us to gain new perspectives and see the miracles in the seemingly commonplace. Johnver might be able to get some help if we do something about it. I could get to travel if I stay with my relatives in Japan. People around us become miracles that defy the chaos so prevalent in the universe. Maybe someday I'll get my sushi.
So yeah. It's good to dream, cause dreams are hopes and hope never dies.
CHORONZON: I am a dire world, prey-stalking, lethal prowler.
MORPHEUS: I am a hunter, horse-mounted, wolf-stabbing.
CHORONZON: I am a horsefly, horse-stinging, hunter-throwing.
MORPHEUS: I am a spider, fly-consuming, eight legged.
CHORONZON: I am a snake, spider-devouring, posion-toothed.
MORPHEUS: I am an ox, snake-crushing, heavy footed.
CHORONZON: I am an anthrax, butcher, bacterium, warm-life destroying.
MORPHEUS: I am a world, space-floating, life nurturing.
CHORONZON: I am a nova, all-exploding... planet-cremating.
MORPHEUS: I am the Universe -- all things encompassing, all life embracing.
CHORONZON: I am Anti-Life, the Beast of Judgement. I am the dark at the end of everything. The end of universes, gods, worlds... of everything. Sss. And what will you be then, Dreamlord?
MORPHEUS: I am hope.
A Hope in Hell
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Words that try to sum up something but fail
I've been trying to put off posting something for a while now. A lot of it is due to the fact that I wanted to stay quiet. I'm probably deluding myself into thinking that maybe that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I figured though, it would be a waste to let the moment go by without saying anything about it. Maybe I needed some form of closure to mark the end of an era. It's probably really selfish of me but I'll just go on ahead and do it.
Yesterday was my sister's high school graduation. It was a long ass ceremony with a mass and speeches. The whole shebang. That day would be also the last whole day I would be spending with my relatives from Japan. The last time they came over was two years ago. I guess that just adds to the changes. Or at least I would like to think so.
College changes people. I say I have to agree. I have changed. I myself probably don't see those changes sometimes. But they're there. Or maybe they were latent traits that remained dormant but required changes in my own environment. All in just my first year. I wonder what else will change as time goes on. It scares me.
Yeah, that's one year down. Three more to go. Time moves fast. We all know that. I think the most important lesson in all of this change and speed is that (quite obviously) we have to live make sure everyday is spent wisely and as full as you can.
I digress.
People change. Times change. We're all moving into our endpoints and there's always a chance that we might lose those we care for. We have to be careful to avoid that. I learned that the hard way.
Things to be thankful for. I'm thankful for all the people I've met. First year was varied and full of different personalities. It was fun meeting people from everywhere. You also learn more about yourself. I'm also thankful for the friendships you make. The ones that get tested. The ones that last.The ones you will never forget.
This is my last first year (unless I decide to go to med school). Beginnings are great. Endings are used for reflection. I can't even begin to really sum up the year. Just creating the clincher leaves me already extremely incoherent. All I can really say is, thank you. Thank you to the people who were there. The people who weren't there. The people I didn't like. The people I love. The people who shared parts of themselves. The people who helped me grow. The people who loved me though I deserve much less. The people who you will never find anywhere else no matter how hard you try. The people you can never make it up to.
Thank you. I can never say that enough.
Yesterday was my sister's high school graduation. It was a long ass ceremony with a mass and speeches. The whole shebang. That day would be also the last whole day I would be spending with my relatives from Japan. The last time they came over was two years ago. I guess that just adds to the changes. Or at least I would like to think so.
College changes people. I say I have to agree. I have changed. I myself probably don't see those changes sometimes. But they're there. Or maybe they were latent traits that remained dormant but required changes in my own environment. All in just my first year. I wonder what else will change as time goes on. It scares me.
Yeah, that's one year down. Three more to go. Time moves fast. We all know that. I think the most important lesson in all of this change and speed is that (quite obviously) we have to live make sure everyday is spent wisely and as full as you can.
I digress.
People change. Times change. We're all moving into our endpoints and there's always a chance that we might lose those we care for. We have to be careful to avoid that. I learned that the hard way.
Things to be thankful for. I'm thankful for all the people I've met. First year was varied and full of different personalities. It was fun meeting people from everywhere. You also learn more about yourself. I'm also thankful for the friendships you make. The ones that get tested. The ones that last.The ones you will never forget.
This is my last first year (unless I decide to go to med school). Beginnings are great. Endings are used for reflection. I can't even begin to really sum up the year. Just creating the clincher leaves me already extremely incoherent. All I can really say is, thank you. Thank you to the people who were there. The people who weren't there. The people I didn't like. The people I love. The people who shared parts of themselves. The people who helped me grow. The people who loved me though I deserve much less. The people who you will never find anywhere else no matter how hard you try. The people you can never make it up to.
Thank you. I can never say that enough.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Changing my Life, Mom and Facebook, Dad and Horses, Japan and the Wrath of Phuket Thailand
I have two papers due tomorrow. A Lit poem analysis of the draft and the final version of Amaryllis by Ellen Bryant Voigt AND the draft for my reflection paper. I first imagined a reflection paper to be just a blogpost on paper. Guess I was wrong. Maybe it's the topic that makes it hard. "The moment in my life that affected me the most" or some sort of thing like that. I like to think that my life was not solely influenced by a single event. I guess I'm a work in progress. Every little thing that happens to me changes me a little. Some more than others.
Yeah. I'm just bumming. Finals week's coming up. Got a couple of long tests for this week too. A documentary for Fil to work on. There's also the lit play I helped write. Which I should mention is very very sweet. Not sweet awesome. Just sickeningly sweet. Damn my Eng/Lit block's love for sweet stories. We should have done something like Young Man in a Jeepney by Merlie Alunon. It's this poem about some cougar who savors the ass heat of a strapping young man who just got off the jeep. Bel was on fire during the analysis of that one.
What else... I haven't posted pics of Dark Shore yet. I feel like it's getting to be old news. And we need to perform more. Which reminds me. Recently, I've been feeling like a 90's teenage girl. Sort of like Debbie from the Wild Thornberries. My mom took to the habit of using Facebook. I have to say, back then, I thought that those 90's teens who complained about how nosy they parents were especially when they were "keeping up with the times" were whiny bitches. Now I myself have become a whiny bitch. She's filled my computer with hundreds of copies of photos because she messed up copy-pasting them into another folder. She's tagged herself AND HER FRIEND on my super vain profile pic of me with a guitar (oh the visuality).
I do wish though, if she were to use a computer, that she learn how to use one properly. Or at least not leave so much shit lying around. Haha. I know, I'm asking for a beating. Maybe part of me is very confident that she will never see this blog (because she doesn't know how or she doesn't know what a blog is...teehee) or I'm still being a whiny teenage girl from the 90's.
In that sense, I admire my dad. So steady. So not reliant on computers. He will not appreciate anything that isn't either, delicious to eat, something related to horses, or business. For those of you who are wondering, my dad owns horses. They aren't magical. They don't eat light and shit rainbows. They don't fly. They're pretty neat like big dogs. And like dogs they bite. My dad got bit by one, right on the boob. It was purple for a while. Sounds quite funny, but it's only really a little funny.
And since everyone got in on the bandwagon and they're pretty close to getting out, I'll join in! Japan and the Earthquake.
I heard about it first from my dad who asked if my Tita living in Japan lived near Tokyo. I remember them staying somewhere else like Osaka so I thought that they would be pretty okay. The reality of the thing didn't sink in 'til much later. I saw footage of the tsunami on CNN and it looked like water sweeping up some diorama. Like if you stuck your AP (that's social studies to you) project into a canal during heavy rain. I couldn't help but think of Godzilla coming out of the water. (Yeah, I'm a terrible person) Anyways, we didn't get any word about whether they were safe or not until the wee hours in the morning when my mom managed to call them when communication was restored in Japan. (We should have used the internet instead, people managed to Tweet in spite of the shit happening around them) It turns out that they were okay. They lived about a 2 hour drive from the epicenter and only their figurines broke. My cousin and her dad got home at about 3 am already but they were safe.
With this event came a surge of posts, stats and other things in support for Japan. Of course, I doubt the authenticity of those posts. Clicking a like page isn't going to save anyone unless there's some sort of money involved and of course prayers help (I'm taking this with a MOUNTAIN of SALT) ONLY if you do something about it after. But at least the word is getting out.
Just last night, my grandma was getting into somewhat of a heated argument. It wasn't really an argument. She just kept talking about the nuclear power plant exploding. I found what she said hard to believe. Not because I don't believe in explosions. It's cause my grandma, bless her heart, misquotes and summarizes stories so erroneously some times. She just kept talking about how they evacuated the people 60 km and that 4 people died. So, I watched the news with her to check. As I was listening though she kept going, "YOU SEE!" when it had nothing to do with 4 people dying or something about 60 km. Oh grandma...
After which she mentioned how people on the radio were talking about how Japan had this coming because of:
Enough of that shit.
What else... I haven't posted pics of Dark Shore yet. I feel like it's getting to be old news. And we need to perform more. Which reminds me. Recently, I've been feeling like a 90's teenage girl. Sort of like Debbie from the Wild Thornberries. My mom took to the habit of using Facebook. I have to say, back then, I thought that those 90's teens who complained about how nosy they parents were especially when they were "keeping up with the times" were whiny bitches. Now I myself have become a whiny bitch. She's filled my computer with hundreds of copies of photos because she messed up copy-pasting them into another folder. She's tagged herself AND HER FRIEND on my super vain profile pic of me with a guitar (oh the visuality).
I do wish though, if she were to use a computer, that she learn how to use one properly. Or at least not leave so much shit lying around. Haha. I know, I'm asking for a beating. Maybe part of me is very confident that she will never see this blog (because she doesn't know how or she doesn't know what a blog is...teehee) or I'm still being a whiny teenage girl from the 90's.
In that sense, I admire my dad. So steady. So not reliant on computers. He will not appreciate anything that isn't either, delicious to eat, something related to horses, or business. For those of you who are wondering, my dad owns horses. They aren't magical. They don't eat light and shit rainbows. They don't fly. They're pretty neat like big dogs. And like dogs they bite. My dad got bit by one, right on the boob. It was purple for a while. Sounds quite funny, but it's only really a little funny.
And since everyone got in on the bandwagon and they're pretty close to getting out, I'll join in! Japan and the Earthquake.
I heard about it first from my dad who asked if my Tita living in Japan lived near Tokyo. I remember them staying somewhere else like Osaka so I thought that they would be pretty okay. The reality of the thing didn't sink in 'til much later. I saw footage of the tsunami on CNN and it looked like water sweeping up some diorama. Like if you stuck your AP (that's social studies to you) project into a canal during heavy rain. I couldn't help but think of Godzilla coming out of the water. (Yeah, I'm a terrible person) Anyways, we didn't get any word about whether they were safe or not until the wee hours in the morning when my mom managed to call them when communication was restored in Japan. (We should have used the internet instead, people managed to Tweet in spite of the shit happening around them) It turns out that they were okay. They lived about a 2 hour drive from the epicenter and only their figurines broke. My cousin and her dad got home at about 3 am already but they were safe.
With this event came a surge of posts, stats and other things in support for Japan. Of course, I doubt the authenticity of those posts. Clicking a like page isn't going to save anyone unless there's some sort of money involved and of course prayers help (I'm taking this with a MOUNTAIN of SALT) ONLY if you do something about it after. But at least the word is getting out.
 |
| Those damn cutesy Koreans... |
Just last night, my grandma was getting into somewhat of a heated argument. It wasn't really an argument. She just kept talking about the nuclear power plant exploding. I found what she said hard to believe. Not because I don't believe in explosions. It's cause my grandma, bless her heart, misquotes and summarizes stories so erroneously some times. She just kept talking about how they evacuated the people 60 km and that 4 people died. So, I watched the news with her to check. As I was listening though she kept going, "YOU SEE!" when it had nothing to do with 4 people dying or something about 60 km. Oh grandma...
After which she mentioned how people on the radio were talking about how Japan had this coming because of:
A. Some Tower of Babel analogy
~OR~
B. The atrocities committed during the Second World War
If you've read my previous post about how I'm an atheist. You might be able to imagine how I reacted to the first. I'm not gonna dwell on that. I just have to say, if you sincerely believe that. I believe you are Amish and I laugh at your fear of light bulbs.(Insensitive cartoon stereotype)
The second point also ticked me off. I'm not gonna even explain why. I mean c'mon. Who seriously believes that? It reminds me of the other Tsunami that hit Phuket, Thailand some time ago. My AP (that's still social studies to you) teacher mentioned that he didn't necessarily believe that it was the wrath of God. But it made you think...Phuket...Phuket... Puke...
Are you phuking kidding me, sir?
Monday, February 28, 2011
Comics, Pokemon and Rock 'n' Roll
Hello blog. It's been a while since I've had something to write that wasn't some self-indulgent thinking spell. Thank God.
Anyways, I'll start with something really lame. Pokemon. (I wish I could do the e with a line properly...) A few weeks or something ago, Aimee gave me a copy of pokemanz on her usb (the cap of which is probably being gnawed on by a cow in Batangas. Sorry, Aims!) It brought back lots of awesome memories of me playing pokemon. Only now, made more fun thanks to the spacebar which skips all the boring shit like walking. My journey through pokemanz was not at all smooth. The first time i tried it, I was all excited about the killer set of Pokemon I had devised. Then all that disappeared when the file was deleted. I think it was because I fumbled with the fucking load and save. I saved when the game started. Which meant the previous file on that slot was deleted... Lost forever to random ones and zeros...
In case this is obscure to you, saving on an emulator is different from how you save the file on the game itself. On an emulator, you save from any point during the game including the title sequence. I made the dumbass move to save during the title sequence...
On to something slightly less childish and a little more geeky. Webcomics. Not really webcomics. More of a Fil project. Not even my own Filipino Project. The same friend who lent me the usb whose cap I have lost and left susceptible to possible viral infection, had just recently been commissioned with the task of doing an epic comicstrip on the lives of Soaperman and Sipilyo Ranger. I'm not going to get into the details of the story (though I assure you it is filled with educational value and women's feelings). What I will talk about however is artistic direction. Tried my hand at helping out with the storyboard of the comic. It was loads of fun. The story went from a legit children's comic to something peppered with slightly more mature themes.
Moving on to the last thing on the title, Dark Shore rocked Health Sci night. We were bitchin'. I can say we because my guitar was totally heard (I was afraid it wasn't). That night we did a cover of You Give Love a Bad Name. It was epic. Everyone else that night did acoustic things or pop things. We shattered the trend. Don't even get me started on the lights. The lights. The stage. The smoke machine. Kick ass. As lame as it sounds coming from the guy who played second guitar to someone like Jules Balmaceda, that night was awesome. I'm glad we played that night. If the rest of Dark Shore is listening, thanks guys. ಥ_ಥ
Anyways, I'll start with something really lame. Pokemon. (I wish I could do the e with a line properly...) A few weeks or something ago, Aimee gave me a copy of pokemanz on her usb (the cap of which is probably being gnawed on by a cow in Batangas. Sorry, Aims!) It brought back lots of awesome memories of me playing pokemon. Only now, made more fun thanks to the spacebar which skips all the boring shit like walking. My journey through pokemanz was not at all smooth. The first time i tried it, I was all excited about the killer set of Pokemon I had devised. Then all that disappeared when the file was deleted. I think it was because I fumbled with the fucking load and save. I saved when the game started. Which meant the previous file on that slot was deleted... Lost forever to random ones and zeros...
In case this is obscure to you, saving on an emulator is different from how you save the file on the game itself. On an emulator, you save from any point during the game including the title sequence. I made the dumbass move to save during the title sequence...
On to something slightly less childish and a little more geeky. Webcomics. Not really webcomics. More of a Fil project. Not even my own Filipino Project. The same friend who lent me the usb whose cap I have lost and left susceptible to possible viral infection, had just recently been commissioned with the task of doing an epic comicstrip on the lives of Soaperman and Sipilyo Ranger. I'm not going to get into the details of the story (though I assure you it is filled with educational value and women's feelings). What I will talk about however is artistic direction. Tried my hand at helping out with the storyboard of the comic. It was loads of fun. The story went from a legit children's comic to something peppered with slightly more mature themes.
 |
| I use mature loosely. |
(When I get some of the pics back. Or the vid. I shall post.)
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
V-day
I am noticing an ever increasing trend of me writing when I have nothing else to do.
Anyways, Valentines day just came and gone. This year's Valentines had much more emphasis than a lot of the previous Valentines days before. I wonder why...
I am not going to talk about the details of the day. Most of it would mean nothing to you. What I will write about is the conversation Bel and I chanced upon when we got back to our blockmates after obtaining some flowers (from Isko's secret garden).
The blockmates were in the middle of some heated argument about the meaning of Valentines day and why you have to have 1 day special. Someone said that you should just treat everyday as special as Valentines day. Jeth (correct me if I'm wrong) said that you need to have one day special to set them apart from the other days. Personally, I agree with Jeth.
It's like having your favorite dessert and spending everyday celebrating that you have that dessert without really enjoying it. You can say that being happy that you have the dessert is part of enjoying it but you never really eat it. The best part about having dessert is sinking your teeth in it and savoring the flavor. Not overthinking it. Just chew, swallow, digest. (I really hope you're following my logic) Similarly, love is like that. You can't spend everyday going apart from your daily routine to celebrate your love. You have to integrate that love into your day. Into the skip in your step. Into that extra millimeter added to the width of your smile as you laugh at some lame joke your blockmate says. Into the breath of fresh air after a long test. That's what love's about: living with it. Not what it's all about, mind you.
I hope I made some sense in what I said. It's just what I think anyway. Not all of what I think. Haha.
Anyways, for those of you who hate extra sweet couples on Valentines, here's a vid of the annual stoning of a disgustingly sweet couple.
Anyways, Valentines day just came and gone. This year's Valentines had much more emphasis than a lot of the previous Valentines days before. I wonder why...
I am not going to talk about the details of the day. Most of it would mean nothing to you. What I will write about is the conversation Bel and I chanced upon when we got back to our blockmates after obtaining some flowers (from Isko's secret garden).
The blockmates were in the middle of some heated argument about the meaning of Valentines day and why you have to have 1 day special. Someone said that you should just treat everyday as special as Valentines day. Jeth (correct me if I'm wrong) said that you need to have one day special to set them apart from the other days. Personally, I agree with Jeth.
It's like having your favorite dessert and spending everyday celebrating that you have that dessert without really enjoying it. You can say that being happy that you have the dessert is part of enjoying it but you never really eat it. The best part about having dessert is sinking your teeth in it and savoring the flavor. Not overthinking it. Just chew, swallow, digest. (I really hope you're following my logic) Similarly, love is like that. You can't spend everyday going apart from your daily routine to celebrate your love. You have to integrate that love into your day. Into the skip in your step. Into that extra millimeter added to the width of your smile as you laugh at some lame joke your blockmate says. Into the breath of fresh air after a long test. That's what love's about: living with it. Not what it's all about, mind you.
I hope I made some sense in what I said. It's just what I think anyway. Not all of what I think. Haha.
Anyways, for those of you who hate extra sweet couples on Valentines, here's a vid of the annual stoning of a disgustingly sweet couple.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Minimal Exposure trip, mostly 3rd Year Immersion and barbecued chicken heads.
Just yesterday we had our exposure trip to Brgy. Bagong Silang. Being from the Ateneo High School interacting with kids from communities like the ones we saw was nothing new to me. We had to do something like that once a year from 1st to 3rd year. Fourth year was every Thursday. Still, I find communicating with the kids kind of difficult because of the awkward language barrier.
The whole thing went by quite smoothly thanks to the expert party planning of Cher and Mico, and of course the wonderful hosting skills of Alvin Cabalquinto. The kids from Bagong Silang were nice enough and really excited to be part of the games. I couldn't help but compare the trip to the things we used to do in high school though. During our 4th year, we had TD sessions every week. This meant lesson plans every week, trying to find new ways of teaching English, looking up the topic on the internet and attaining a rudimentary grasp of the topic (Prepositions...I'm sorry kids). It became really tedious really fast, but the year that I spent teaching them allowed for me to form a bond with them. The kids at Bagong Silang, not so much. That's just because I haven't spent time with them yet.
Two other kids, Jasper and Jasmine became my foster siblings during my 3rd year immersion in Payatas. Rather than writing about it, I'll post the paper I had to do after the trip. I must warn you, it gets really cheesy. And even then coherence and unity were alien to me. Also, I'll be adding comments in absolutely heterosexual and totally not insecure blue.
The whole thing went by quite smoothly thanks to the expert party planning of Cher and Mico, and of course the wonderful hosting skills of Alvin Cabalquinto. The kids from Bagong Silang were nice enough and really excited to be part of the games. I couldn't help but compare the trip to the things we used to do in high school though. During our 4th year, we had TD sessions every week. This meant lesson plans every week, trying to find new ways of teaching English, looking up the topic on the internet and attaining a rudimentary grasp of the topic (Prepositions...I'm sorry kids). It became really tedious really fast, but the year that I spent teaching them allowed for me to form a bond with them. The kids at Bagong Silang, not so much. That's just because I haven't spent time with them yet.
Two other kids, Jasper and Jasmine became my foster siblings during my 3rd year immersion in Payatas. Rather than writing about it, I'll post the paper I had to do after the trip. I must warn you, it gets really cheesy. And even then coherence and unity were alien to me. Also, I'll be adding comments in absolutely heterosexual and totally not insecure blue.
Immersion Reflection Paper
Getting on the jeep to Payatas I was already pumped up for the weekend my classmates and I were going to spend there. I could see my classmates were too, especially Kim. “Parang tayo yung special ops na sasabak sa giyera!” he would say over and over again. That’s kind of what I thought too. Only a few of my classmates chose to join and that made all of the people there daring and bold (Cheesus Christ). I was glad I joined the immersion.
When we got off the jeep, first thing everyone noticed was the smell. It wasn’t unbearable but it was still unpleasant. You could tell the dumpsite wasn’t that far away from where we were going to stay. The thought of that only excited me more since I wanted to see for myself what I could endure and this was something I was determined to undergo (I was a regular Bear Grylls).
We had the meeting in the chapel and we were eventually separated and introduced to our foster families. That was the time I met Kuya Willy, my foster father for the immersion, and his two kids, Jasmine and Jasper. He seemed very friendly and greeted me with a wide grin. Then, we took the walk towards the house I was going to be sleeping in for two nights. I took that as a chance to survey the surroundings and I got good vibes from the place. People were busy chatting and kids were playing in the streets, everyone knew everybody else and they were generally nice people. After the short trip we managed to get to the house. It was small but cozy and had everything I needed to make it through my stay. There I sat down and tried to get to know the kids a bit more. The formal talk didn’t work and they both shied away (Evidence of the language barrier). Kuya Willy sensed that I was getting bored so he told Jasper to give me a wider(?) tour of the place. Walking around the area I was a bit apprehensive because I heard that there were frats and gangs in some areas and I did not want to get tangled up with them but I walked on. I got into somewhat of a confrontation with some punk teens playing with their skateboard but I think that was just me being easily intimidated (no shit, you little bitch), which I just realized now, but back then it left a bitter taste in my mouth. After that encounter, Jasper brought me to the lugawan and we sat a bit. I asked the man selling lugaw how much it was and he offered me a free bowl. It wasn’t a big deal but it felt really good to get something out of another person’s kindness (Already delicious lugaw is made even more delicious when it is given to you for free). It didn’t end there right after I finished my bowl of lugaw, my classmate’s ate bought me betamax. It was the first time I tried it outside of dinuguan and it was awesome! (Tasted like tofu) After that snack we went back home and had dinner. It was simple tinola but it was good (It was god damn delicious). I was careful not to eat too much because I was afraid I’d leave them with none but I managed to eat my fill anyway with enough to spare for the dog. Then we sat to watch the news and had a little light conversation. When the time came to go to bed, they set up the only fan in the house on the bed they set up for me. It was really touched by this and I found getting to sleep really easy (I did feel pretty bad I took their fan though). That is how I spent my first day.
The second day of immersion Jasper and I met up with my classmates and we decided to walk all the way to the dumpsite and do some sightseeing. It was a long walk and when we got there we were covered in mud and our feet were wet with garbage water. One of my classmates, Dags, even got maggots on his slippers. It was gross but according to the Kuya Willie it’s a lot better that how it used to be. We gladly left the dump and went back to bathe and rest up. After a few kwentos and sticks of isaw later, we agreed to spend our last night singing at Miso’s crib (Videoke style). The night was killer and everyone enjoyed but with it I was reminded that we were leaving the next day. I dreaded the next day since I already got attached to my foster family and the community. I realized how much I was going to miss the sounds of people playing basketball in the street and the amazing variety of food available. I was going to miss playing chess with Jasper and talking to him about everyday things. It’s funny to think how much I connected within such a short span of time but it happened (I hate your sentence construction, 3rd year Rap). The next day when we left, some of us where in tears, I was among them (Not that many tears). Jasper cried too and I gave him something to cheer him up and remember me by. It was one of the few occasions where I gave and it hurt since I gave away my favorite keychain. I doubt I’ll be able to get another one of those anytime soon since they were limited edition (That keychain was so cool...I'm still glad I gave it away though). Emotions won me over that day. We left Payatas as different people, we were all changed. Even though our stay was too short, the lives that affected us and the lessons we learned will never be forgotten.
End.
I didn't get to mention the awesome deep friend chicken heads I tried for the first time. So awesome. Chewy. Juicy. Chickeny. It's chicken deliciousness presented in a neat little chicken head sized mouthful. I had chicken heads for the second time on the exposure trip. Barbecue this time. My god. The deliciousness. I seem to be the only one who enjoyed them as much though... More for me then. :D
On a semi-sidenote, I mentioned before the story of the that Atenean who's essay was criticized because he or she said that he or she was glad that she was not poor. I also said that I would discuss that further. But, since I don't wanna go at it all uninformed (not actually reading the essay), I'll leave that for some other time...again.
Now. Enjoy these photos of the exposure trip in panorama, a camera setting which I love using despite the occasional deforming of people.
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| Yes, I see my knuckle. |
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| Albert and Ren not gaying it up yet. |
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| Mariel's elbow has disappeared. |
Monday, January 24, 2011
The Chillest Weekend Ever and Other Thoughts
This past weekend has been the chillest in a long time. Absolutely no homework or schoolwork done. It probably has much to do with the fact that math midterms has just blown by and I feel like I deserve to give myself some time to prep and relax before I see my terrible math grade. Sort of like when Filipinos beat the living shit out of a chicken before cooking it.
That chicken sure looks relaxed.
Why am I writing a second blogpost right after i had just accomplished one just yesterday? Probably because I wanted to hear myself think. Or read myself think. But then again, maybe the real reason why I'm writing is because I want to have something to look back at in the future. Somehow leave my mark. I've keptdiaries journals before when I was a kid but I could never find it in myself to look back and re-read the entry. I put too much of myself into the diary and it exposes too much of myself to myself. This way at least I can keep some sort of record of my life and not have to see the bare thought on paper.
I have this fear. I like to talk about religion. At least for a little while. But even I get tired of talking about it. People usually get tired before me. My friend Jules told me that I was just joining the bandwagon when I argue about religion. He says that it's easy to argue against something that you can't prove. Jokingly, I remarked that it was way cooler to argue against how math works. He thought I was serious and he agreed. Goddamn Balma.
Earlier today, I was having a conversation with Aimee about what a guy like me can do with his life. Here's a list of things I might enjoy doing for a living.
1. Writer of erotic fiction
2. Doctor at a hospital in Boracay
3. Traveler
4. International Businessman
5. TV documentary show host
None of those seem too plausible. I don't wanna get a real job. Or work for a boring ass company. Or become a slave to money. I want to see the world. My mother did that when she was younger. She was a flight attendant and she went all over the world with friends. I'd listen to her crazy adventures as a kid and wait for her flight back just to get to the chocolates and toys she'd be bringing. It seemed like an amazing way to live. Which might explain why this was my list before I ended high school.
1. Pilot
2. Zoologist
3. Doctor
4. Lawyer
5. Writer of TV commercials
Basically, anything but businessman.
That does bring up an interesting thought though. Number five. Creativity. Money. Convincing people. Embellishing. That does sound like fun. It's a thought that I haven't visited in a while... Who knows. This could be a turning point in my life. I'll discuss this some other time. Until then, hello future me.
That chicken sure looks relaxed.
Why am I writing a second blogpost right after i had just accomplished one just yesterday? Probably because I wanted to hear myself think. Or read myself think. But then again, maybe the real reason why I'm writing is because I want to have something to look back at in the future. Somehow leave my mark. I've kept
* * *
I have this fear. I like to talk about religion. At least for a little while. But even I get tired of talking about it. People usually get tired before me. My friend Jules told me that I was just joining the bandwagon when I argue about religion. He says that it's easy to argue against something that you can't prove. Jokingly, I remarked that it was way cooler to argue against how math works. He thought I was serious and he agreed. Goddamn Balma.
* * *
Earlier today, I was having a conversation with Aimee about what a guy like me can do with his life. Here's a list of things I might enjoy doing for a living.
1. Writer of erotic fiction
2. Doctor at a hospital in Boracay
3. Traveler
4. International Businessman
5. TV documentary show host
None of those seem too plausible. I don't wanna get a real job. Or work for a boring ass company. Or become a slave to money. I want to see the world. My mother did that when she was younger. She was a flight attendant and she went all over the world with friends. I'd listen to her crazy adventures as a kid and wait for her flight back just to get to the chocolates and toys she'd be bringing. It seemed like an amazing way to live. Which might explain why this was my list before I ended high school.
1. Pilot
2. Zoologist
3. Doctor
4. Lawyer
5. Writer of TV commercials
Basically, anything but businessman.
That does bring up an interesting thought though. Number five. Creativity. Money. Convincing people. Embellishing. That does sound like fun. It's a thought that I haven't visited in a while... Who knows. This could be a turning point in my life. I'll discuss this some other time. Until then, hello future me.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Regular Blogging
Blogging is tedious work. You have to find interesting things to say and or find mundane ideas and bedazzle them to somehow make them entertaining. Keeping an online diary journal is pretty gay. (Even with the use of the word journal. I guess it's the use of the strikethrough.) Not as gay as video diaries though.
Best show ever.
At the risk of being gay however, I will recount on event that took place yesterday. Right before the math midterms Deo, Aimee, Jules and I were discussing the prospect of obtaining a condo unit and dividing the expenses among ourselves. I thought it was brilliant. Us guys just living the independent college life. Having ramen noodles every night. Watching the cars in Katipunan from the roofdeck (oh Christmas party...). Whether we'd actually get any school work done though...
I wish college life was that cool. Where you leave your home and live away from your family. Live independently. Find yourself. Discover what you wanna do in life. College so far is like, high school with girl schoolmates and a lot of breaks. Maybe I should be working harder on the self-realization part. I remember a conversation I had with Leo Liban. He was talking about going on a journey of self-realization. If he was strict on the Honey and Clover (totally heterosexual reference) aspect of it, that would mean taking a bicycle and going on a journey with nothing but a backpack of clothes, spare change in your pocket and no maps or direction in mind. (Tch. Yeah right, Leo. HAHAHAHAHA.)
Also, thanks to my new phone I can post pics of recent events.
Arthur, Jules and myself
Us during the first sem
Toni before ACET results...
...Toni after ACET results.
To my sister, it's totally fine that you failed. There are other schools out there. :)
Kidding. She passed.
My room in panoramic view.
The block in panoramic view. (Mico's Spider-man)
The End.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Did not do Homework (So I blogged about my Atheism)
Heyyyy. A second blog entry. After only one day. Time to waste time.
Instead of doing homework. I didn't do homework. I also listened to Tim Minchin, a pretty good comedian/musician. I discovered him through Filipino Freethinkers where he was presenting the "true message of Christmas". (I use quotation marks only because people have been unable to define what "true" really is. It really just depends on from what perspective you're using.) Here's the link:
Instead of doing homework. I didn't do homework. I also listened to Tim Minchin, a pretty good comedian/musician. I discovered him through Filipino Freethinkers where he was presenting the "true message of Christmas". (I use quotation marks only because people have been unable to define what "true" really is. It really just depends on from what perspective you're using.) Here's the link:
Terribly good stuff. :')
The message was true enough for me.
This brings up an interesting point. If you know me, you'll know I've abandoned belief in God for almost a year or two already. Earlier I started with an uneasy questioning stage. My religion teachers from first year to second year were the first ones to have be ask questions about God. Wait. Scratch that. It was really my 7th Grade teacher. That was because I had just finished the da Vinci Code. Please do not be too hasty in judging me. I'll admit, I totally bought it with the Mary Magdalene and the Holy Blood... (I was a kid! After watching Space Jam when I was an even younger kid, I thought you could dig a whole into Looney Tunes land. aaaand I have no idea how saying that helps me...) Most importantly though it was the idea of questioning Jesus that hit me like a brick wall. Not in a bad way, mind you. It opened up the possibility of questioning God and Jesus when I had been too afraid to cross that sacred infallible line. I became curious enough to ask the big questions.
The topic of religion is often one that is accompanied by a long series of arguing and bickering. In the end no one really wins. You really just pick your poison. I just chose to pick the more certain path. One where I didn't need to listen to an invisible voice in my head or sacrifice virgins or give way to old nonsense beliefs that the pain of childbirth is a result of God's punishing Eve or one that holds rallies screaming: "God Hates Fags!"
What I do believe in is friends and family and science and just talking about things peacefully. (I realize my terrible use of "and" and "or") Not believing in a supernatural god has become a luxury and I find myself totally unchanged aside from the fact that I have become more open minded, more suspicious of unscientific claims, more supportive of homosexuals (I only just kid around, AC.), more appreciative of the complexity of the world, more critical of the stupid government and Catholic Church and aside from a lot more things, happier to be alive today.
I always say this to people who ask me what meaning there is in being alive but having no creator. I tell them that it is up to them to decide. Our very existence today laughs in the face of improbability yet with enough knowledge of the science behind it, works perfectly with how the universe operates. We are here today in spite of incredible odds. So many things had to go right just for you to be here today. It is just too easy to say that God made everything and accept and worship. When you do that you miss the beauty of the how's, what's, where's and when's. The "why", on the other hand, depends on you. You have this literally once in a lifetime chance to make a good life, live with your family and be happy with others in what way you choose. You are in control of how your life will go. You choose how you want to live. I think it's wonderful that way and not a day goes by where I don't have that lingering feeling of luck and amazement when I realize that I am alive. My classmate and fellow Green Lantern fan, Ren Aquino, said something about how in the grand scheme of things we are just but an excess in the reaction. That may be, but that still puts forward the inescapable fact that we ARE. Here we are. That certainly put a smile on my face the night he shared it. It still does to this day.
* * *
I could go on and on about my beliefs but then that would just be tedious. There are so many facets in belief that you'd need a book or a series of books to go about it correctly. Also, thanks to Aimee for the blog support. It actually feels good to post thoughts for everyone to read. :)
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